Costuming Considerations

Monty forced into a Puss-in-Boots costume

                In light of the upcoming holiday, I would like to offer some advice, based on my family’s experience in regards to cat costumes.

1.  Don’t waste hard earned money on costumes specifically made to be worn by cats.  Any able-bodied feline can escape the costume faster than you can raise the camera to get a photo proving he was wearing it.  Hence, Frank might have looked adorable in his vampire wings, but the world will never know.

2. Although it is possible to dye cats green by bathing them in lime Kool-Aid (as a bonus, the cat will have a pleasant fruity scent afterwards), the cat will not appreciate the indignity of being green and will retaliate… painfully….

3.  Playing dress-up—a beloved activity of little girls everywhere—destroys a cat’s self-image.  Cats don’t see themselves as sophisticated, fashionable, or domesticated.  To correct this misconception on the part of their childish housemates, they must demonstrate how wild they are by destroying any hat, feather boa, or dress they are forced to wear.

                In other words, for a cat to exist confidently in all its glory, it must remain naked and free.